Resistance♥

Monday, June 21, 2010

Hey miss bloggie...
Today has been freeeaakkkkinnnnggggg crazy! What? My work, yes. I wanna bitch about it a lot a lot.... The other day I was just saying I felt like I'm working part-time instead of full-time. Being cursed by myself. Stupid! IDK... It's seriously tough now. System changed, everything changed ever since NEW UM and new ward NO came. Well, not surprise at all. Expected!
I've changed too, my attitude! Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I am bad. Forced to change because some people just can't be bothered and irritating and I have to be like 'rude and loud'.
Those big shot, they came in and fault you, of course I have to stand up for myself.
Pheewww... I am waiting for my day to come so I can leave too... but I will never regret that I ever been this ward because it taught me a lot and an experience that I will never get from anywhere else.

EVERYTHING FIND THE IN CHARGE!!

Patients' head to toe,
diet to clothing,
investigation to procedures,
family member to spokeperson,
social worker to allied healthcare,
environment to service.

Sometimes I asked myself what the fuck am I doing??
Junior are not held responsible? They are registered staffs too. Not those illiegal workers!
still bitching...

PEOPLE TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED!! Error happened! Human error.... another WTF! I really feel sorry for that. 'We learn from others' mistakes'?

A smile is really a good way to turn your day around. A palliative doctor spoken to me or I can say discuss patients' matter. Well, he appears to be so friendly, smiling and really look into my eyes for acknowledgement/suggestions/answer... This is like.. I want to learn from him. HE is one example I wanna follow. CALM AND COOL.... CALM and COOL.. chant this everytime I'm in trouble.

Also my lovely Junior told me to "believe that everyday is a special day"
I will think of them whenever I feel like giving up. It motivates me. Words motivates me and keep me going. I know they meant it, I just know that. Cause, I believe everyone is true until they prove it otherwise.
Alright bloggie...I stil had a lot more... most of it I've shared with my best babe.

♥our lips must always be sealed

11:31 PM

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

You appreciate the better things of life and you don't particularly want to strive in order to achieve them. What a pity you were not born into the Gentry with servants, etc. Unfortunately - life is not like that. You have the ability to be whatever it is that you would like to be but you must make the effort.

You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

It would seem that an existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory and you feel that there is little that you can do about it without 'some help from your friends', but you have no desire to show the world how vulnerable you really are and therefore you consider it inadvisable to display affection or be over demonstrative. You regard this particular relationship as a depressing tie and although you would like to be independent and unhampered, you don't want to run the risk of losing anything. All this leads you to react 'touchily' and with impatience, while the urge to 'get away from it all' results in considerable restlessness and stress. Your ability to concentrate may suffer.

You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in 'dreaming' but it is you - and only you - that can be able to realise those dreams and to turn them into reality.

♥our lips must always be sealed

11:39 PM

Dear blogger...

I have so much to blog about. When I come to this page, whatever that was on my mind seems to vanish. It's funny. So, I'll just type anything that flows in.
These five days of work, I realised I'm a bit different now?
Probably my team of doctor is awesome. They each deserved a bear hug from me.
They will just listen to my suggestion and take note of them.
Like we're being appreciated. I guess that's what we want. To be recognised and appreciate. I'm kind of grateful.
Yeah.. I've worked with all my heart and soul. It's something I want to find back, the way I work. Something belong to me. My heart. It's fixed now. Intact with regular heartbeat.
I don't know what kind of feeling is this. I just feel COMPLETE like this.
I believe in miracles.

All I wanted to do now is to ease my patients' pain. Have you ever seen their tears that stream down their face begging you to ease their pain.
PAIN is the fifth vital sign that we shouldn't ignore.
I've learn quite a few things from team doctor? yes/no?
When patients complaint of shortness of breath, what are the intervention?
Just be aware that SOB can lead to NSTEMI.
Definition:
NSTEMI is an acronym meaning "non-ST segment elevation myocardial infarction," which is a type of heart attack. This is determined by a electrocardiogram (ECG) test.
Not only asthma attack but a heart attack.

This time I'm still trying very hard to learn as much medical information from them all.
The interest for medical diagnosis and treatment plan is still there. I can't ignore it you know, my curiosity. Sometimes I'm just plain lazy to read. I dislike this habit. Old habits die hard. ;)
Another best thing is I am stuck in the same team. I wish I would be the same team again when I get back to work this Wednesday.
I've spoken to this medical officer. She is a Malaysian and a graduand from Canada. Like WOW!! When I was young I wanted to migrate to Canada. I don't know what is nice about Canada, I just want to go there. How silly I could be. Now I can say I'M INSPIRED BY HER! It is possible that my dream will come true one day. [inspiration + motivation]
New Zealand too.. I wonder when will that happen? ***daydreamsss

From this physiotherapist of my ward. I saw the passion in him and the way he treats his patients. He went extra miles for them. The care he had for them, no other allied health care could beat him. I was amazed. Awesome. I was observing him most of the time, for today because it is his last day in my ward. So gonna miss him.
I bumped into him on Sunday at hospital lift. He was in just T-shirt and jeans and me just off work, he looks great. Like! it was so nice to see him. I love the way he smiles and wink.
Not that I've fallen for him. I just like that kind of sincere smile he has got. His eyes shine.
The first thing I look for in people is their eyes and smile.

These few days I'm taking 6 or 7 cases and supervising a student who is taking 5 cases.
She is way too far off as compared to Tiffany, one of my favourite student few months back.
I know by comparing is wrong. But I just couldn't help it. The way this girl work pissed me off sometimes and I got to hold my temper. Ha-Ha!! Anyway, I did try my very best to take time and help her. Don't forget I was at her stage before. I put myself in her shoes and look through what and how I want it to be.
But, when I was a student, I listened and never talk back.

Well, I've been through ups and downs at work. How my patients went really crazy and create havoc in my ward. How my patients spit antibiotic that I had pounded for her into my face.
How my demented patient want to fight with me with the killer look in her eyes.

All in all, the best thing is I've my best babe listen to me. That's enough already. I know she will always be there for me.
I'm happy with myself now.
Do what I do best.
One true heart, one true soul.
I want to serve mankind with passion.
My goal.

♥our lips must always be sealed

12:57 AM

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

♥our lips must always be sealed

1:38 PM

Sunday, June 6, 2010

My friend was so random yesterday.
Yesterday was 5th June and she said, " Today is a good day".
I asked. "why?"
"One more month to my birthday?"
"Ha-ha!"
In my heart - yes babe, I missed your last year celebration. Wanna celebrate with you this year.
=)

Yesterday was great!
Attended Noh's b'day celebration. A surprise party planned by his girlfriend at pasir ris.
Awesome people, awesome food.
After that met up with my best buddy from poly, Elton and Khairul.
Chilled out at a bar at pasir ris park for half an hour before changing location as Henry is joining us too.
Drove to lau pat sat. Good thing Elton's dad car has got GPS thingy.
My iphone map sucks. Not really help because of the speed.
Watched midnight show at 2am. KILLER. I love the show..
Drove pass by Kallang MacDonald. Had very early breakfast before Elton sending us home.
Reached home already 5.15am. Goddamn hour. I creeped quietly into my bed after a cold shower..
Feel so good.
And now I am thinking about my future plan. First gotta complete my 2 years part-time bachelor in science first. Will be commence in July. I'm so looking forward to it.
I guess I won't have time to like hang out till wee hour or go back NYP so often to climb and run with those juniors. hhmm..mm... not much time left.

♥our lips must always be sealed

5:06 PM

Friday, June 4, 2010

FUCK THE TEARS!
Another draft been saved.

I failed everytime I tried.
How much time do I fucking need?

♥our lips must always be sealed

12:42 AM